Heart Soul and Might

Clocking in at one year and eight days, Joshua is officially the earliest walker of the three Petak boys. This morning, caught on video by his mommy, our little smiley one-yr old took his first official steps on his own. There were at least three 2-step combinations and one that was really close to three steps on his own! Congrats Joshua!

Here are the three Neopolitan Petak boys: Jonathan (strawberry, age 2 on left), Joshua (chocolate, center) and Josiah (vanilla, age 4 on right).

We are proud to announce that the newest Petak has arrived: Joshua Brian Petak was born at 2:16pm on Friday, December 29th, 2006 at Baptist Hospital in Nashville. He weighed in at 7 lb 3 oz and 20 inches long. As you can tell from these pictures, we finally have our much-anticipated dark-haired son! With Josiah (blonde) and Jonathan (red), we’ve joked that Joshua (dark brown) gives us Neopolitan Boys.

Here he is on the right, a few minutes after arriving at home, playing his role as our favorite stocking gift of the holiday season…

Every Friday is Fenelon Friday, where we drink from the very deep well of my favorite 17th century French Bishop in the Catholic Church. (Everyone should have a little Fenelon with their coffee in the morning…) Francois de Salignac de La Mothe-Fenelon (born 1651) was a mentor to a number of younger men on the court of Louis XIV. In fact, he was given the responsibility of raising the young man who would proceed Louis XIV to the throne of France (the King’s grandson). Many of Fenelon’s writings are actually letters he wrote to some of these young leaders as they sought to walk the life of faith in the face of opposition and adversity. Fenelon’s teachings were met with resistance within the Catholic Church because they aligned more with Reformation teachings than with Catholic dogma at times, and his hope was that once his student became the King of France, he would be instrumental in the reformation of the Catholic Church and bring a real witness of Jesus Christ to France. Those hopes were dashed in 1712 with the premature death of the King’s grandson. Fenelon died not long after that in 1715 at the age of 63, but his teachings live on and continue to influence 300 years after he died.

Preserving Peace with Others

To be really pleased even with the best persons, we must be satisfied with little and we must bear with much. The most perfect people have many imperfections. We also have imperfections, and great ones. Our faults, joined to theirs, make our bearing with each other very difficult. But bear one another’s burdens, and so you shall fulfill the law of Christ. we must make a charitable allowance in this matter. Frequent silence, habitual recollection, prayer, detachment from ourselves, renunciation of all the carefully crafted criticisms, faithfulness in abandoning all vain judgments of a jealous and fastidious self-love - all these things tend very much to preserve peace and union with God. We spare ourselves much trouble by this simplicity. Happy are those who pay no attention to self-love, and who pay no attention to the criticism of others.

Content yourself with leading a simple life according to your circumstances. For the rest, obey the Lord and bear your little daily crosses. You need them, and God gives them to you only out of pur mercy. The great thing is to make light of yourself sincerely, and to consent to be made light of by others if God permits it. Nourish yourself with him alone. St. Augustine says that his mother lived only by prayer. We also are to live by prayer and die to all the rest. We can live to God only by a continual death to self.

Francois Salignac de la Mothe Fenelon, Talking With God, pp.133-134.

Obviously, during my sabbatical, I’ve also been taking somewhat of a sabbatical from my blog… But, have no fear. I’ll be posting some thoughts soon and appreciate your grace and patience as I rest.

Thank you!

Every Friday is Fenelon Friday, where we’ll drink from the very deep well of my favorite 17th century French Bishop in the Catholic Church. (Everyone should have a little Fenelon with their coffee in the morning…) Francois de Salignac de La Mothe-Fenelon (born 1651) was a mentor to a number of younger men on the court of Louis XIV. In fact, he was given the responsibility of raising the young man who would proceed Louis XIV to the throne of France (the King’s grandson). Many of Fenelon’s writings are actually letters he wrote to some of these young leaders as they sought to walk the life of faith in the face of opposition and adversity. Fenelon’s teachings were met with resistance within the Catholic Church because they aligned more with Reformation teachings than with Catholic dogma at times, and his hope was that once his student became the King of France, he would be instrumental in the reformation of the Catholic Church and bring a real witness of Jesus Christ to France. Those hopes were dashed in 1712 with the premature death of the King’s grandson. Fenelon died not long after that in 1715 at the age of 63, but his teachings live on and continue to influence 300 years after he died. He has radically transformed my life.

The True Source of Peace is the Surrender of the Will

Live in continued peace. But understand that peace does not depend upon the fervor of your devotion. The only thing you need to be concerned about is the direction of your will.

Give that up to God without reservation. The important question is not how religious you are, or how devoted, but rather is your will in harmony with God’s? Humbly confess your faults. Learn to be detached from the world and completely abandoned to God. Love Him more than yourself and His glory more than your life. The least you can do is to desire and ask for such a love. God will then pour out upon you that special love which only His children know, and He will give you His peace.

Francois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon, Let Go, p. 11.

Thanks to Harry at DogBark.com - all links and pages are now functional. We’re good to go. Thanks for your patience!

I’m sorry for the difficulties you might be experiencing navigating through my blog right now. I assure you, this is only temporary! My blog hosting expert is out of town and I tried to do something on my own I had no business doing… I’m technical enough to be dangerous, and it caught up with me…

I’m working on it…

I think, for now, clicking on links is not possible. You can only scroll up and down to find recent posts. I will get this fixed ASAP. Thanks for understanding!

Speaker: Patrick Lencioni

Title: “Dealing with Your Team’s Dysfunctions”

I knew this would be a good session both for me and our team - I first read Lencioni’s book “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” a few years ago, and this past fall began taking our team through it. I also use the Field Manual which has a bunch of helpful tips - some of which Lencioni talked about in this session.

He basically walked through the five dysfuctions, so that’s what I’ll do, and add some thoughts that he brought as well as observations of my own. The five dysfunctions all build on one another and so it’s difficult to work on 2,3 or 4 if this first dysfunction isn’t under control:
1) Absence of Trust
The fear of being vulnerable with team members prevents the building of trust within the team. A team can’t function effectively if  team members don’t have full trust in one another. The best way to establish ongoing trust is to have an environment of vulnerability where the struggle for position and recognition is non-existent, and all team members are cheering for each other. Vulnerability is risky - but it’s worth the reward of a team that trusts one another.

A healthy team can’t have team members who are self-focused and wondering who is getting the credit… This erodes trust because it creates an environment of competition and turns it into an individual sport rather than a team sport.

2) Fear of Conflict

The desire to preserve artificial harmony stifles the occurrence of productive, ideological conflict.

Healthy conflict is the only way to truly achieve results. It creates the appropriate amount of friction to stimulate people toward results and if a team has overcome the first dysfunction and trusts one another, the results will be productivity and success. You have to know people on your team aren’t holding back and choosing their battles! People who hold back don’t allow the energy of an issue and the competence of the team bring about the best results. If you’re holding something back, you’re hurting the team and not allowing the best to come about.

You can’t be afraid of conflict! If you are, your team clearly has a trust issue.

3) Lack of Commitment

The lack of clarity and/or the fear of being wrong prevents team members from making decisions in a timely and definitive way.

The key phrase here is: “If people don’t weigh in on an issue, they don’t ‘buy in’ on an issue.”

Don’t wait for consensus if it is hard to get to - look for truth, goodness and the BEST. Just know that people need to be heard and considered and if that happens - in a trust-based team - they will be committed to the direction that the leader determines is the best course.

CONFLICT allows us to achieve COMMITMENT.

4) Avoidance of Accountability

The need to avoid interpersonal discomfort prevents team members from holding one another accountable for their behaviors.

Peer to Peer accountability is ideal! Team members need to care about each other enough that they’ll need to hold each other accountable.

5) Inattention to Results

The desire for individual credit erodes the focus on collective success.

Here’s what dysfunctional teams focus on:

• ego
• status
• career development

Individuals need to put these things aside for the good of the team and focus on trust-based healthy conflict that leads toward commitment, accountability and the best results!

The two most important things that teams need once they’ve been able to work through these dysfunctions are COMMITMENT and CLARITY. When these are achieved on a team that trusts one another, the sky is the limit!

I highly recommend this book for your team. Click on the link here and order it from Amazon.com.

Last night I was in the presence of a great man. I’d never heard of him until meeting him at a university alumni event last night, but it didn’t take long to realize that this is a man upon whom God has smiled. He had Jesus all over him - and he was so not about himself. I got the impression he would rather you remember Jesus than himself. Until a recent “semi-retirement”, Dr. Jim Walters had been the Chair of the Biblical Studies department at John Brown University since 1968.

I met his wife, too. Beautiful woman - in the way you could see Jesus in her as well. She spends her life in a wheelchair with little movement, hands knarled, her body ravaged by what Dr. Walters calls the “insidious beast that invaded her body in 1978″ - multiple sclerosis. They were married in 1964, she was diagnosed with MS in 1978, she had to stop driving in 1989, and went to a wheelchair full-time in 1991. And Dr. Walters has been faithfully standing beside Linda, taking care of her every day. He told me they’re more in love today after 42 years of marriage than they were the day they got married - and I could tell that he was telling the truth.

I watched carefully how he related to Linda. He was the featured speaker of the evening, but his primary concern always seemed to be how she was doing rather than how he was coming across to the crowd of alumni and donors. They laughed together often and he always spoke respectfully to her, often adjusting her sweater that would sometimes creep up under the seatbelt that held her in her wheelchair.

During his talk, Dr. Walters held up a black and white picture of his family back from 1968 - he and Linda and their two sons - and inevitably I noticed the difference in how they’ve changed in the 38 years since. Dr. Walters was smiling widely and had darker (and more) hair. Linda had a beautiful smile and looked so full of joy in the picture. I looked over at her in the wheelchair. Her smile looked much different, her bottom lip now drooping awkwardly and her eyes tired and unfocused. But her smile was undoubtedly there and it was impossible to miss the joy they both clearly still have. Could it be that they live this temporal life with an eternal perspective? They have every right to be jaded. To be cynical of a God who would allow this terrible disease to thwart their plans for a peaceful life, free from pain and suffering - and concluding with a care-free retirement. But instead of cyncism or anger - or even pity - I saw a man who loves life…abundantly. He enjoys life supremely because he no doubt loves God supremely.

That’s why I had to meet Dr. Walters and shake his hand. This man obviously finds such satisfaction in God that he can live this life with supreme joy no matter the circumstances. As I shook his hand, I thanked him for being an inspiration to younger guys like me and that he obviously has Jesus all over him. His response didn’t surprise me. First, he graciously said Thank You, and then said he just deeply loves God’s Word so much and wants others to as well.That’s the key to his joy.

You can’t love God like he does without loving His Word like he does. And you can’t love God’s Word like he does and live with anything but an eternal perspective that puts God’s glory above earthly, temporal comfort.

I’ve been deeply impacted by this encounter with this great man of God. I hope and pray that I can love Heidi like Dr. Walters loves Linda. It will take another 40 years of loving Heidi to pass that test. And, I hope and pray that I can live with supreme joy no matter the circumstances in the way that this great man has modeled. It will take another 40 years of loving God and His Word to pass that test.