Heart Soul and Might

There are some exciting new changes in ministry that the Lord has recently led me to pursue! A few months ago, one of our staff elders and good friend Maridus Kinder asked me if I’d consider taking the position of overseeing Fellowship’s Global Outreach ministry. We’ve partnered together extensively over the last few years in developing Worship Global, our Worship and Arts Ministry’s interaction with and influence to the world. Trips to Hungary (2002, 2003), Nigeria (2004) and Peru (2005) and our planned trip in October 2006 to Kenya and Nigeria have fueled the flame in my heart for global outreach. I have sensed my heart beating stronger and stronger with the Lord’s for reaching out beyond our borders to the world. So, I told the Elder Board that I’d pray about this potential during my sabbatical and come back with a decision one way or another.

One important factor in the decision was that I’ve been hands-on involved and/or leading worship and arts ministries at some level for 16 years at two churches, and have greatly enjoyed seeing much fruit come to bear. And not merely leading the ministry, but enjoying shepherding a body of believers toward a higher view of God’s greatness and glory, leading to a more passionate and dependent lifestyle of worship. And through much prayer, I know and am confident that no matter what ministry I’m most directly involved in, that will always remain my heart and posture toward God.

Over my sabbatical, the answer became very clear. God was giving me the “green light” to make a monumental ministry shift - saying goodbye to worship and arts ministry directly, and “hello” to Global Outreach! I will still continue to lead worship on occasion, but my primary focus will now be overseeing the relationship with our Ministry Partners all over the world.

This last year, our church sent out over 15 short-term teams to work with our Ministry Partners in Kenya, Sudan, Nigeria, Russia, Peru, Slovenia and other countries throughout the world. Our vision is to provide “Wind and Water” to these various global partners. Wind is resources, equipping, teaching, teaching materials, financial resources, etc. (ala providing wind in their sails). Water is providing assistance to meet basic needs - food, water, shelter, agricultural training… (ala providing a cool cup of water in the desert).

This is all very new and exciting to me and I look forward to direct ministry and partnership with the many talented and gifted servants we work with throughout the world. If my 5-6 mission trips over the last few years are any indication of the influence, impact, life change and fulfilling ministry that are ahead, I can’t wait!

In addition to overseeing Global Outreach and continuing to lead worship, I’ll also continue to provide leadership in the area of prayer at Fellowship and will be helping to lead and teach in our Equipping Center as part of the Equipping Ministries Team. There are a number of other areas of ministry I’ll be involved in as well, and I hope to expand on those in the days and weeks to come.

Thanks for walking this journey with me!

I listen to a lot of Mark Driscoll sermons. Mark is the Senior Pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle and he accompanies me on many of my morning runs (he shares my iPod podcast rotation with John Piper during my runs). I would have to say Mark is one of the most interesting and engaging speakers (preachers) I’ve listened to. I don’t always agree with everything he says or even his approach sometimes, but it is obvious he is a man of God who holds strongly to conservative evangelical theology and orthodoxy and is very funny to boot. I laugh out loud a LOT when I’m running and listening to Mark.

He posts here on the Resurgence on how he prepares for sermons, and whether you’re a preacher or not, it is intriguing to read his approach and his method of preparation. We may not all be public speakers, but we should all take the Word of God, prayer, repentance and the Holy Spirit as seriously as Mark does as he prepares to preach. Read this post and be inspired. In addition, go to the iTunes Music Store and subscribe to the free Mars Hill podcast - you won’t be sorry. I can’t wait to listen to my next Driscoll message. He’s currently going through 1 Corinthians - Christians Gone Wild. It’s highly worth your time.

I’m continuing to read through Dan Allender’s latest book, Leading With a Limp, and am finding a lot of insight and encouragement. I want to share a couple quotes and then make a comment or two. These come from chapter 4 - “It’s Failing That Matters!” Allender talks about a season in building the Mars Hill Graduate School where his failings came into the public view, front and center. Then, he says this:

Prior to this season, I had been aware of some of my deficiencies, but I had never considered that the overwhelming majority of God’s hand-picked leaders in the Bible were themselves riddled with faults and failure. I can hardly name a leader in the Bible who didn’t fail radically enough to warrant being removed from leadership: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, Elijah, Jeremiah, Mary, Paul, and Peter. It seems God loves to use troubled, odd, unpredictable people to not only lead others but also to make the gospel known.

Leading With a Limp, p. 53.

We often feel like we need to have everything wrapped up and put together to be an effective leader and used of God - but clearly, God has proven that He has always used broken down, needy sinners to do His best work. Every leader God has ever used has failed. Even in the midst of leading! But, the Godly leader - the one who God has truly chosen to do His will - will embrace his weaknesses and failings through Christ, and continue on.

When I think about all the mistakes I’ve made over the years and all of the dark things that even still float through my mind at the most inopportune times, I often wonder how God could choose me to lead anything! On top of that, I’m just flat out unqualified to walk into some of the leadership challenges that I face daily. I’m far more often weak than I am strong. But that’s why I’m glad we can tap into Christ’s strength, which is perfect. Allender goes on to say this:

This is one of Paul’s central statements of inversion. Don’t miss this: leadership that mimics Jesus will not be normal. It will be neither expected nor, in most cases, preferred. It will be disruptive and anomalous, and it will  demand one’s body and soul, fortune, reputation, and all the other small gods that keep our lives safe and satisfied.

Here is God’s leadership model: He chooses fools to live foolishly in order to reveal the economy of heaven, which reverses and inverts the wisdom of this world. He calls us to brokenness, not performance; to relationships, not commotion; to grace, not success. It is not wonder that this kind of leadership is neither spoken of nor admired in our business schools or even our seminaries.

Leading With a Limp, p. 55.

So… He calls us to brokenness, relationships, grace… not performance, commotion, success… He’s right. This is certainly a different kind of leadership model than I’ve studied in school or read in other books. This is a real paradigm shift that requires a lot of thought, prayer, intentionality, and yes… grace. I will need a lot of grace to live and lead like this. But why should this be so hard for us to grasp? Paul certainly embraced and even boasted in his weaknesses. He is a great model for us to follow. He eliminates “the leader’s serving with even a hint of self-righteousness.” Most leaders fear they will one day be discovered, known, exposed, humliated… Let’s get beyond that. OK. It starts with me. I’ll see how it goes and report back.

In his book, Leading With a Limp, Dan Allender says this:

“We should bless men and women who have done their level best to escape leadership but who have been compelled to return and put their hand on the tiller. We should expect anyone who remains in a formal leadeship context to experience repeated bouts of flight, doubt, surrender, and return. Why would this be God’s plan? Why does God love the reluctant leader? Here is one reason: the reluctant leader is not easily seduced by power, pride, or ambition.”

He says that “reluctant leaders don’t aspire to hold power; in fact, they avidly work to give it away.” I’m not sure I fully agree with the idea of blessing those who have tried hard to escape leadership… but I do see his point on blessing the faithful who battle with doubt and flight and come back to their faithful work. Simply put, leadership is HARD work. And no doubt many leaders spend countless hours wondering how on earth they got to where they are, and how on earth they’re going to lead given the present circumstances. Leadership is complex.

I do, however, resonate with his thoughts about the “reluctant leader.” The narcissistic leader doesn’t have any issues with power, pride and ambition - because those are what drive that leader to do what he/she does. The constant jockeying for position and favor… controlling a public image… pushing an agenda… self-preservation at the expense of others… Bottom line: this isn’t living like Christ would (Philippians 2) - considering others better than yourself, looking out for the needs of others, being a servant… But the reluctant leader leads despite knowing just how weak and futile he is in his own strength. The reluctant leader is not impressed with his/her abilities or the fruits of his labor. Allender says this:

“A reluctant leader knows that her calling to lead is ridiculous, but she bears the high glory of God’s decision to call weak fools into the work of leading others. Consequently, a reluctant leader smiles at the striving ambition of power-hungry leaders to make more and keep more.”

This is so challenging to read! I so want to live like a reluctant leader, but I’m afraid too often, my desire to please others and excel puts me more in the ambitious leader or narcissistic leader category. That’s why reading a book like this is absolutely essential for anyone who is - or wants to be - a leader. All of us are leaders in some capacity. If there is anyone following you in any way, you are a leader. The question is: will you be a reluctant leader who God can use to bring all glory to Himself? Or will you be the ambitious or narcissistic leader who tries to pull all the glory to himself?

“If God is real and involved in your life and wants you to be a leader, he will corner you and direct you back into the good that you are to live. So if God captures you, stop running, count the cost, and lead. The more passionately a leader tries to flee but is cornered by God to serve in leadership, the more clearly she understands that her service is an exposure of her weakness and a revelation of God’s goodness. It is God’s design to use reluctant servants to usher in glory.”

Good friend, Samuel Rainey at Samuel’s Musings recommended Dan Allender’s new book Leading With a Limp and after hearing Allender speak at last month’s Willow Creek Arts Conference, I bought it. After just the first few chapters, this book is already having quite an impact on me. Here is an excerpt from Allender’s introduction:

Fear

Most leaders avoid naming their failures due to fear, and fear is a completely understandable motivator. If a leader were to openly acknowledge that he is frequently mistaken, that he is deeply flawed, and that he will continue to miss the mark on occasion, the ramifications could be disastrous. A leader with that much candor could lose the confidence of his staff, his clients could take their business elsewhere, and his board could fire him. At least those are the fears that keep us silent.

But what actually does happen when we overcome this fear and come clean about our personal flaws? What happens when we being to name our cowardice and admit our inclination to hide? Paradoxically, when we muster the courage to name our fears, we gain greater confidence and far greater trust from others.

Still, confronting your fears involves risk. In certain environments any honesty about one’s failures can be the kiss of death. So if you love truth and are bound to its proclamation, flee the cults of pretense and Christian artifice. Seek out a new context in which to lead. If you find a church or organization that is not bound to pretense but might simply be ill equipped to admit what the Scriptures teach about our struggle with sin, you will be in a place where honesty has the greatest potential to alter the culture of latent deceit.

Dan Allender, Leading With a Limp, p. 5.