Heart Soul and Might

I read this familiar passage this morning in my time in the Word:

“If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

The context is kind of funny to me, because after many miracles (feeding the 5,000, feeding the 4,000, sending out demons,  healing the deaf and mute, …) in which Christ proved His deity and yet displayed ultimate humility, His disciples are found arguing about who is the greatest. And when Jesus asked them (rhetorically, of course!) what they were arguing about, they were silent. They had to be embarrassed. They got caught! And then, he turns their human logic on its head… If you want to be first, you must be last. What?!? But this is so contrary to our natural human nature! That’s the point. That’s a common theme in seeking to live as Christ did.

In a culture where image and position is seen as the ultimate goal, it’s truly countercultural to be a servant. To be others focused. To set “self” aside for the sake of others. But if we want to exhibit the mind of Christ, this is a non-negotiable. Unless we’re a servant, our pious attempts at being good don’t mean much. What does it look like to be last in your world? What changes do you need to make to become a servant? I mean, truly… a servant. Not lip service…
I can think of SO many things that need to change in my world.

Every Friday is Fenelon Friday, where we drink from the very deep well of my favorite 17th century French Bishop in the Catholic Church. (Everyone should have a little Fenelon with their coffee in the morning…) Francois de Salignac de La Mothe-Fenelon (born 1651) was a mentor to a number of younger men on the court of Louis XIV. In fact, he was given the responsibility of raising the young man who would proceed Louis XIV to the throne of France (the King’s grandson). Many of Fenelon’s writings are actually letters he wrote to some of these young leaders as they sought to walk the life of faith in the face of opposition and adversity. Fenelon’s teachings were met with resistance within the Catholic Church because they aligned more with Reformation teachings than with Catholic dogma at times, and his hope was that once his student became the King of France, he would be instrumental in the reformation of the Catholic Church and bring a real witness of Jesus Christ to France. Those hopes were dashed in 1712 with the premature death of the King’s grandson. Fenelon died not long after that in 1715 at the age of 63, but his teachings live on and continue to influence 300 years after he died.

Bearing the Criticism of Others

Go on your spiritual journey naturally, and what others say will not harm you. A moderate, simple, decided course of conduct will impose silence upon them. Even if you have to bear some unkind mockeries, you will get off very cheaply. Having been approved by the world for so long, when you wished to please those who were blind, is it not just that you should have to suffer something from the folly of this world, so that you may acquire true wisdom? We are too jealous of whom we do not admire and whose irregular conduct we know well. The main thing for you is to reserve to yourself hours for withdrawal, when by your exercise of devotion you can provide yourself with a good antidote against all their poisonous errors.

Read the truth in the worlds of eternal life. Pray, watch, and be detached from yourself. Love God with a generous love; let that which was created only for Him belong only to Him. Expect all things from Him without neglecting yourself, that you may be faithful to His gifts.

Francois Salignac de la Mothe Fenelon, Talking With God, pp. 45-46.

I chose this passage from Fenelon because I believe this is probably one of those issues that impacts ALL of us at various levels. I don’t know of anyone who actually enjoys receiving criticism from others, and if we’re honest, most of us respond in either defensiveness or anger or some other response that seeks to preserve “self” in some way. I know that’s true for me. Criticism from others is so hard to take because I suffer from the plague of not only being a people pleaser but also wanting to preserve my reputation and image… A deadly combination at times. Sometimes criticism reveals weakness that I was trying to conceal, and my cover is blown! But, sometimes criticism is more about the one criticizing than it is about me… And that’s why it really pays to have take the Fenelon approach. Live simply before God and accept the criticism of others. If we live only to please God, the criticism of others will not harm us. It’s when we allow our self-preservation and the striving for position and reputation to drive us, that we can’t handle hearing even constructive comments, let alone full-colored criticism. Our response reveals the degree to which we trust God and what He desires to teach us in all situations.

I’m not saying this because I’ve arrived! I can only say this because of what I believe about God (and I’ve read Fenelon diligently for a few years now). My natural tendency is to get defensive and respond in my flesh… although I’ve found that slowly and in very small increments, I’m making a little progress over time in how I respond to criticism. It’s not easy! And I will continue to make mistakes along the way. But I have to admit that sometimes - I can actually hear the words of Fenelon (and the apostle Paul) ringing in my mind in a given situation. Yes, sometimes my own self-love speaks louder and drowns those voices out… but my prayer is that growth will continue to occur.

I love Fenelon’s advice. “Go on your spiritual journey naturally, and what others say will not harm you.” If we are more concerned about what God thinks about us than what others say about us, we will not be harmed. It’s that simple. That’s where my problems start since I’ve always been much more concerned about what others think about me. I wish there were an antidote I could drink to be cured of that! But Fenelon says that time alone with God IS the antidote for that, so I’ll just keep getting alone with God and see what the Holy Spirit does. I would encourage you to do the same. Get alone with God often. Drink deeply from His Word regularly. And ask the Lord to show you what He wants to show you even through the criticism of others. Great… now I’m accountable to this in my own life! OK. Here I go. Walk by faith… one…step…at…a…time…

I just had a pretty great experience putting my son Josiah to bed. This is the kind of experience I won’t soon forget. It started out in typical fashion getting him in and out of the bath and into his PJs, playing hide and seek, reading a book, putting him into the “tickle machine” (a form of tickle torture I’ve invented) and brushing his teeth. Then, after singing a song, as is our custom, we turned off the light and knelt down by his bed. Tonight for the first time, we learned the word “posture” and talked about how our posture of kneeling communicated to God our dependence on Him. I don’t know if he’ll remember the word “posture” tomorrow, but it was a fun discussion with a three year-old.

We can usually keep Josiah on his knees for about 15 seconds max, but tonight, he was kneeling a little longer than usual as he prayed through his list of “Grandma Nancy and Grandpa George, Grammy and Poppy…” And then the unexpected happened. We’ve prayed the words of 2 Kings 23:25 over him since the day he was born - the verse after which this blog is named. Regarding King Josiah, it is said that no king before or after him sought after the Lord with all his heart, all his soul and all his might…” And every night, as a family, we pray those words over both of our boys. (And we add words from a verse in that chapter that says that King Josiah “did not turn to the left or to the right.”) Josiah prays them with us, and for now, Jonathan listens…

Tonight, however, without any initiation on our part - and without our assistance - Josiah concluded his prayer with these words:

“And thank you God that a strong man of God who seeks the Lord with all of his heart, soul and might and does not turn to the left or to the right. Amen.”

OK. He left out a few words but I didn’t care of course. This is my little three-year-old guy that I’m so extremely proud of… and he’s on his way to becoming a strong man of God! When we named him Josiah - after the great King in 2 Kings 23 - we prayed that someday he would live a life like that of his namesake. I think he’s moving in that direction… and I can’t wait to see how God brings glory to Himself through his life. (and Jonathan’s too!)

The community group that I lead is a marriage accountability group and right now we’re actually going through a parenting curriculum with a book called Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes… in you and your kids! It’s a great book providing some real practical tips on parenting, but inevitably in each weekly discussion, we find things that apply to either our personal lives or our marriages.

The major theme in this book is establishing “honor” as a principle which guides everything we say and do. The goal is to always be honoring of one another and the authors provide many practical insights on how to instill honor in our kids.

This week’s chapter was entitled “Six Ways to Teach Honor to Your Children” - and while there were a number of takeaways as a parent, one of the most impactful applies to ALL of us.

#2: Teach children to do more than what’s expected 

“Honor does more than what’s expected. It looks past the words to [the] intent. Honor involves being thoughtful and thorough about what you do.” (p. 50)

“Honor sees the need and takes care of the problem. If it’s broken, fix it. If it’s empty, fill it. If it’s open, shut it. If it’s out, put it away. If it’s messy, clean it. if you can’t, then report it. That’s honor.” (p. 50)

I think this has huge implications for me personally, and for all of us - yes, even us adults. It’s our natural wiring to do just what it takes to get by. I don’t have to think too hard to do the bare minimum. It’s my natural inclination… You have to get out beyond “self” do do more than what’s expected, and for most humans like me, getting beyond “self” is the problem. We’re all naturally selfish. It takes forethought, planning and energy to be selfless. Some people do it really well, and it seems like it comes naturally, but I’m guessing that even for them, it takes conscious effort. Maybe less conscious effort than it takes for me, but still effort.

What would our world be like if EVERYONE simply did more than what was expected? If people went out of their way to serve others. To go beyond the bare minimum and do even just a little bit more than what is expected. I can only imagine what our house would look like if, instead of walking over or around the toys or my dirty clothes on the floor, I naturally picked something up on my way by… Ouch! Writing this is reminding me of just how lazy and ignorant I can be sometimes!

The passage that immediately comes to mind is one that we’re all familiar with, but probably don’t live out enough.

Philippians 2:1-5

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…”

It’s all about having the mind of Christ Jesus. He is our ultimate example of being a true servant - and ultimately doing more than what was expected. In fact, it almost seems trite to talk about Christ’s example of servanthood in the same discussion as picking things up off the floor… But the point is - Christ truly was selfless, and in every way, thought of others before He thought of himself. And, He is our model for how to live. When I do only what is expected, or worse yet, less than what is expected, I am not exhibiting the spirit of Christ.

So, let’s teach our kids how to do something extra - something more than what is expected. But, let’s first start with ourselves. I need to start with me.

Lord, help me to exhibit the mind of Christ in every way - seeking to serve and not be served. To assist, help, guide, serve… and not out of duty, but out of a heart that wants to be like Jesus. Help me to look beyond simply what is right in front of my eyes, and see the opportunities to honor and bless others by my actions that go beyond the minimum.

Every Friday is Fenelon Friday, where we drink from the very deep well of my favorite 17th century French Bishop in the Catholic Church. (Everyone should have a little Fenelon with their coffee in the morning…) Francois de Salignac de La Mothe-Fenelon (born 1651) was a mentor to a number of younger men on the court of Louis XIV. In fact, he was given the responsibility of raising the young man who would proceed Louis XIV to the throne of France (the King’s grandson). Many of Fenelon’s writings are actually letters he wrote to some of these young leaders as they sought to walk the life of faith in the face of opposition and adversity. Fenelon’s teachings were met with resistance within the Catholic Church because they aligned more with Reformation teachings than with Catholic dogma at times, and his hope was that once his student became the King of France, he would be instrumental in the reformation of the Catholic Church and bring a real witness of Jesus Christ to France. Those hopes were dashed in 1712 with the premature death of the King’s grandson. Fenelon died not long after that in 1715 at the age of 63, but his teachings live on and continue to influence 300 years after he died.

How to Bear Suffering Peacefully

Concerning our friend, I pray that God will give him a simplicity of trust that will bring him peace. When we are careful to instantly let go of all needless worries and restless thoughts, (that is self-centered thoughts, rather than loving, outgoing ones), then we shall find ourselves on plateaus of peace even in the midst of the straight and narrow. We shall find ourselves walking in the freedom and innocent peace of the children of God, not lacking wholesome relationships either toward God or man.

I am willing to apply to myself the same advice that I give to others, for I am convinced that I must seek my own peace in the same direction. Even now my soul is suffering, but I am aware that it is the life of self which causes us pain; that which is dead does not suffer. If we were really dead, and our life hid with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3), we would no longer struggle with those pains in spirit that now afflict us. So we must learn to bear all sufferings with composure, even those which come upon us through no fault of our own. But we must beware of that restlessness of spirit which might be our own fault. We can add to our God-given cross by agitated resistence and an unwillingness to suffer: This is simply an evidence of the remaining life of self.

A cross which comes from God ought to be welcomed without any concern for self. And when you accept your cross this way, even though it is painful, you will find that you can bear it in peace. But when you receive your cross unwillingly, you will find it to be doubly severe. The resistance within is harder to bear than the cross itself! But if you recognize the hand of God, and make no opposition to His Will, you will have peace in the midst of affliction.

Francois Salignac de la Mothe Fenelon, Let Go pp.2-3.

This may be one of the Fenelon passages that has affected me most deeply over the years. God gives all of us crosses to bear in order to draw us closer to Him - indeed to make us more like Christ. Some crosses seem more like actual “suffering” than others, but each is a cross nonetheless. In my journey, I have been under the weight of some pretty heavy crosses at times, although I readily admit that the weight of the cross we bear is all relative to our experience as well as our capacity to bear. The lesson I’ve learned from Fenelon is that rather than focusing on either the cross, or the one inflicting my suffering, focusing on Christ and bearing each cross in peace really refines the spirit and brings about many wonderful benefits like endurance, perseverance, patience, steadfastness - and ultimately greater spritual maturity.

My problem at times has been, in the midst of the trial or suffering - I’ve often focused way too much attention on either the one causing the pain, or my poor wounded spirit - neither of which allows for much spiritual growth. In fact, spending much time ruminating on my affliction is a good sign that I’m too worried about “self” to be looking for ways God can be glorified even in the face of the difficult circumstances. This is where “self-love” needs to find death. Why spend so much time and energy thinking about how my rights have been violated when bearing an affliction in peace and with patience can allow God to do what He’s ultimately going to do anyway? We just cause it to take longer the more we fight it.

It really comes down to a paradigm shift away from self-centered living to God-centered living. I am still very much in process here. Self-centered living won’t allow me to bear suffering peacefully because my pride cries out for satisfaction and attention. It’s been the hardest lesson of my life to remain silent at times and bear something peacefully. Sometimes it even causes physical pain! But I have come to find that God is faithful and He will honor this kind of living. It’s His purpose. To refine us into Himself, and ultimately to more fully reveal His glory. That makes it worth it.

This is written by Bob Kauflin at Worship Matters and is great stuff…
This comes from the prayer “Reproofs” in The Valley of Vision:

Teach me how to take reproofs from friends,
Even though I think I do not deserve them;
Use them to make me tenderly afraid of sin,
More jealous over myself,
More concerned to keep heart and life unblameable.
Cause them to help me reflect on my want of spirituality,
To abhor myself, to look upon myself as unworthy,
And make them beneficial to my soul.
May all your people know how little, mean, and vile I am,
That they may see I am nothing, less than nothing,
To be accounted nothing,
That so they may pray for me aright,
And have not the least dependence upon me.

In His mercy, God often sends people into our lives who courageously, if not always kindly, give us some form of correction. One of the indicators of maturity is how quickly and joyfully we welcome that kind of input.

I often respond immediately with justifying or blame shifting words, explaining why I took a particular course of action or made a specific comment. I’m quick to speak and very slow to listen. I want this conversation to be finished as soon as possible. In my worst moments, I start to judge the person giving me input, imagining all kinds of reasons why their judgment is faulty. “They don’t even know me…they haven’t seen all the other times I’ve been right…how do they know what’s in my heart?…they’re MUCH more guilty than I am in this area…someone else made me do it…I was tired/hungry/distracted/unaware…” My list of excuses is lengthy, thorough, and compelling. At least in MY eyes.

But in God’s eyes, every person who brings me a rebuke is His messenger, sent to help me conform me to the image of His Son. So why do I despise correction?

It’s simple. I don’t believe what God has said about me in the cross. I think there must be some aspect of my life, however small or pitiful, that is praiseworthy, meritorious, and beyond inspection. Alfred Poirier, in his very helpful article, The Cross and Criticism, provides this life-changing perspective:

“In light of God’s judgment and justification of the sinner in the cross of Christ, we can begin to discover how to deal with any and all criticism. By agreeing with God’s criticism of me in Christ’s cross, I can face any criticism man may lay against me. In other words, no one can criticize me more than the cross has. And the most devastating criticism turns out to be the finest mercy. If you thus know yourself as having been crucified with Christ, then you can respond to any criticism, even mistaken or hostile criticism, without bitterness, defensiveness, or blameshifting. Such responses typically exacerbate and intensify conflict, and lead to the rupture of relationships. You can learn to hear criticism as constructive and not condemnatory because God has justified you.”

What a thought. We can receive criticism graciously because God, who knows our wickedness as no one else, has fully forgiven and justified us. We will never be brought into condemnation! (Rom. 8:1) So we can confidently pray with the Puritan in The Valley of Vision:

Give me such vivacity in religion,
That I may be able to take all reproofs from other men as from your hands,
And glorify you for them from a sense of your beneficent love
And of my need to have my pride destroyed.

Oh, how we need to have our pride destroyed! What agents of God’s care will we encounter this week? Will we recognize them as tools in God’s hands, or view them as enemies to resist? How will we respond to input, feedback, and observations? May God help us to see each person who corrects us as a gift from his loving, wise, and sovereign hand, sent to make us more like His precious Son.

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. (Psa. 141:5)

HT: Worship Matters (written by Bob Kauflin)